Gay People vs Fags

So some stupid dyke bitch keeps throwing a hissy fit every time I call someone a faggot. She thinks I'm intolerant. THIS IS FUCKING STUPID. It's like I can't have an opinion on homosexuality because I enjoy pussy and tits.

I present this JPEG to defend myself.



I fully support equal rights for homosexuals. Some of the coolest people on Earth just happen to have sex with people of the same gender - INCLUDING some of my personal heroes: Dan Savage, George Takei, and Russel T. Davies to name a few. This does not mean that I cannot hate faggots.

The Catholic Feast of Saint Patrick

He drove some snakes from Ireland, SAINT PATTY!
Though science says snakes never lived on Ireland, SAINT PATTY!

Patron saint of Ireland
Nigeria, and Engineers
Does anything a dirty Mick can
Celebrate with shitty beers
SAINT PATTY!
SAINT PATTY!
SAINT PATTYYYYYYYYYYY!

I wrote that just now. Love it or leave it.

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH

That yellow shit? That all came out of my lungs. I coughed it up and spit it out and collected it. This fucking illness has kept me out of work for THREE DAYS NOW. Missing one day is bad enough, but three days? I mean, if I don't go back to work, like, TOMORROW, I'm gonna be pissed. It just hurts to breathe, and coughing up a few tablespoons of mucus a day.

Oh, and even better. Check out that little blood spot in that shit. It's disgusting. And highly painful.

So now I'm down and out financially, too. Mike's helping me cover rent, but ultimately I'm going to be boned here VERY SOON. Also, I think I might be getting scurvy. Isn't your knuckles turning bluish-green a symptom of that?

So if anyone would like to bring me over a fruit salad, or a nice bunch of bananas, maybe some Nyquil... that'd be great.

HAHAHAHA I'm an asshole

Okay, so, at work they give you these big fucking calendar things for you to keep track of events. Except who the fuck needs one of those in a fucking office? I don't need a goddamn planner, I file shit. Monday: file shit. Tuesday: file shit. Wednesday: file shit. I think you see where this is going.

So I decided to spice things up by putting the fact that I was having a party on the thing. I wrote this down on Friday:


So then I walk in on Monday and find this:


Obviously, I cannot let this pass. So I respond:


You know I'm probably going to be fired.

Bijhan's Big Ball: Aftermath

Well, bitches and bitchettes, you may be wondering, "Was the Big Ball a success?"

No. No, you assholes, it wasn't. I had a good fucking time in SPITE of most of the jackasses that showed up.

MY BIG FAT LIST OF MY BIG FAT COMPLAINTS:
1) The Ronz playlist was way too fucking short, and way too fucking few people danced. Their music was the highlight of the night, and there was not enough of it.
2) Two very rowdy shirtless customers decided to spill three FULL cans of beer into my carpet. These guys are assholes.
3) Someone invited a bunch of highschool girls. What the fuck guys, highschool girls are lame as shit. Yeah, they're delicious jailbait, but the ones that get lured into coming to these house parties are vapid, mindless, and never put out.
4) An asshole I have no viable connection to requested that we play "Wonderwall" by Oasis. No. I will not play "Wonderwall" by Oasis. Ever. That is a gay ass song by a gay ass band. We play only quality tunes.
5) THIS IS A BIG ONE. Someone stole forty dollars STRAIGHT CASH out of the jar we were using for bar money. Classy, guys. That's awesome. I hope you spend it on something worthwhile.
6) Some dinosaurs showed up late after the actual party had been over, toting beer and settling in for a while. One of the guys bugged me about playing in an Irish band with my accordion. Look asshat, I don't play IN a back-up band. I HAVE a back-up band. I'm a one-man show, and I've already got a set of gigs. I'm not an up-and-coming youth, and you're not my fucking manager.

So basically me and Weather pitched in plenty of dough in the form of alcohol, the Ronz played an awesome show, and then my guests turn on me and abuse me. THE PEOPLE WHO ARE COOL: You know who you are. This message is not for you. ASSHOLES: Don't ever show up at my place ever again. Nothing personal. I just don't want you around.